Humor Doesn't Heal, But Sometimes Joy Can Help
By Yolande Clark-Jackson
Laughter is a way to express pleasure or display our sense of humor. We laugh when things are funny, we laugh when we're experiencing joy, and we laugh when we see our experiences reflected back in a new way. Laughter can help us release tension in a moment of anger or lift us out of the sinking feeling of sadness.
This is why the phrase “Laughter is the best medicine” became so popular. We know laughter helps us, even if in the moment, it only helps us keep from crying. The sound and feeling of laughter in the body has proven benefits. It can increase endorphins to the brain that relieves stress, boost your immune system, and improve our sense of connection with others. But it isn't easy for everyone to laugh, and not everyone has the same sense of humor. What can make one person laugh out loud can make another person irritated. And laughter doesn't always equate to joy or a sense of well being. So how do we find our own funny bone, and do we really need one?
What is a “sense of humor"?
A sense of humor is part of our personality that triggers a smile, a chuckle, or a pleasant moment of distraction. A sense of humor allows us to feel light hearted and less self-conscious. If we can throw our head back in a full belly laugh like a child, it usually means we are tightly held in a moment of joy or pleasure. A person who tests a good joke on a new friend is like a doctor hitting someone below the knee to check their reflexes. People said to have an “easy sense of humor” generally like to laugh and enjoy making other people laugh too.
Some of us have more seriousness inside and are generally tougher critics of what is or isn’t worth laughing at. Despite how serious we might be on the outside, those who use their sense of humor to process life’s challenges, are generally more optimistic. But just as what is considered funny often depends on the person and circumstances, so do the benefits of using your funny bone.
Who laughter helps most
Research proves those who have connection and agency see more benefits of laughter. It makes sense that if you have confidence and connection to a community then it's a lot easier to feel safe enough to laugh, experience pleasure, and enjoy the moment. But if you don’t have a sense of safety, you will be less likely to risk vulnerability. And if you’re in the midst of experiencing serious challenges, laughing won’t help, and it won’t heal your trauma.
In the healing process, however, laughter can work retrospectively. Sometimes we can laugh at something that made us feel pain, anger or embarrassment in the past.
Being able to laugh often indicates that distance from the experience leaves the old feelings with less power and provides a new perspective. and sometimes that new perspective leads to growth.
Laughter connects us to others
We can also lighten the weight of a collective experience through laughter. Being able to identify cultural patterns of experiences makes us laugh and feel less isolated. Even if the experience isn’t entirely positive, it makes us feel better that we weren’t the only one who went through it. It's like, “I'm not alone.” Much of what brings us joy is connected to community.
Historically, in oppressed communities, clinging to joy was often connected to survival. In the Black community especially, using joy and laughter as a tool for survival has been handed down for generations. It has been a tool fashioned inside ourselves to keep us moving forward. And although we did experience joy in spite of efforts to dehumanize us, our songs and our laughter were not always filled with joy.
Laughter can falsely appear as happiness
We laugh out of frustration, just as much as we laugh out of joy. People laugh when they’re nervous, frustrated, angry and disappointed too. We laugh at others instead of with them, and have felt the pain of being laughed at when we didn’t agree what happened was funny. We also laugh when we are hiding our true emotions. So how do we know when laughter is helping and not hurting?
When laughing helps
When you’re experiencing a feeling of pleasure and joy, and it’s not at the expense of others, laughter can help heal the mind, body and spirit. Laughter can also …
Lower feelings anxiety
Relieve feelings of stress
Put you in a better mood
Strengthen your resilience
Connect you to your community
Improve your relationships with others
What You Can Do to Laugh More
Investigate your sense of humor. Reflect on the last thing that made you laugh and do more of it.
Make space for laughter in your body. Try breathing exercises to release tension and let those funny memories of your childhood back into your body.
Read books that help you prioritize joy and laughter
Spend time playing with the children in your life
If it’s hard for you to find pleasure or joy in laughter, a therapist can help you identify the tools you need to find your funny bone. If you think you would benefit from the help and support of a professional, reach out to a Ibisanmi Relational Health Therapist. IRH therapists are trained and skilled professionals who provide a holistic approach to helping you achieve mental wellness.
You can be sure you’ll receive culturally affirming guidance suited for your unique situation. Book a 15-minute consultation here.
