Pride Month is not only a time for rainbows but for checking in on our community

Pride Month is not only a time for rainbows but for checking in on our community

By: Yolande Clark-Jackson

June is the time for celebrating summer, Juneteenth, Men’s Health, and Pride Month. Facebook is using the rainbow background for profile pictures and for posts.  Human rights organizations are hosting virtual dance parties, and people in cars across the country will wave their rainbow flags. LGBTQIA+ members, activists, and allies will march and celebrate in solidarity to boldly show pride in the face of those who insist there should be shame.

Pride month commemorates The Stonewall Uprising that happened in New York City on June 28,1969. Marsh P. Johnson and Slyvia Riveria were two transgender activists who pushed back agaisnt being treated as criminals for living outside the expectations of their gender designation. 

We believe the freedom to decide who we are and who we choose to love is a human right. Unfortunately, there are others who do not agree. As a result, members of the LGBTQIA+ communities have suffered abuse from those who are committed to enforcing hetersexual standards and binary thinking. And, those living outside the binary structure have been made to feel ashamed or broken. LGBTQIA+ adults and teens have suffered ostracization from not only society, but also their families and communities. For this reason, It is often hard for members in this community to show their pride every day of the year. When feeling rejected and persecuted, it is challenging to maintain mental, emotional and relational health, especially when you don’t feel safe.  

According to a USA Today article, over the first half of this year, 13 transgender men and women were killed, and those murdered were either Black, Latinx, or Asian. Knowing these statistics, it  makes sense why those in LGBTQIA+ community suffer from anxiety and depression. 

Anxiety and Depression 

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, “LGB adults are more than twice as likely as heterosexual adults to experience a mental health condition. Transgender individuals are nearly four times as likely as cisgender individuals (people whose gender identity corresponds with their birth sex) individuals to experience a mental health condition.”

With these statistics, it’s no surprise that many gender-nonconforming and LGBTQIA+ adults and teens also suffer from depression. 

Last year statistics from the Trevor project, a LGBTQ suicide prevention organization for youth showed the 40% of LGBTQ youth suffered depression and contemplated suicide. 

It is for this reason, that Pride Month is not only a time to celebrate the gains that have been made through activism, but to also acknowledge the work that still needs to be done and support those who need it.

Support for the LGBTQIA+ Community

As a community of support, pride month is a good time to reflect and remember that some things go beyond black or white, or gay or straight. It is a good time to check in to see how well we can accept the spectrum of experiences that exist in our communities. In this month of June, we can check in to see how we can do better, and support should not begin or end in June. 

We want to celebrate the lives of Black, Brown and Indigenous LGBTQIA+ and support their mental, emotional and relational wellness all year long.  

We want them to know that seeking out professional health for mental, emotional and relational well-being is always important. Particularly, it is essential to find a culturally affirming therapist to discuss and process feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. And, we want their families to know that their mental health is key in becoming the best advocate for those they love.

At Ibisanmi Relational Health we provide a healing space for all members of the LGBTQIA+ community and their families to talk and share their experiences. We are here to listen and support you. You can book your 15-minute consultation here. 

And, be sure to follow us on IG at @ibisanmi.relational for mental health check ins and inspirational posts.

The Emotional Tax of Racial Trauma

By Yolanda Jackson

While the whole world manages health concerns related to the pandemic, African Americans and Asian Americans have the extra burden of trauma due to racialized violence. After the March 19th shooting in an Atlanta spa and six Asian women dead, people were again reminded of the evil that was always present. How do we deal in society that continues to harm People of Color? How do we manage in a society that requires a mass shooting or knee on a neck to see the horror and effects of white supremacy?

Asian Americans have been under attack since the pandemic. According to NBC news, there were 3,800 racial incidents reported by Asian Americans over the past year. Over 500 during the first three months of 2021. Now, Black Lives Matter and other Black organizations are publicly standing in solidarity with Asians and Asian Americans against Asian Hate crimes. Black people are once again, standing in solidarity even when our own mental health is at risk.

African Americans Live with Racialized Trauma

Because African Americans have suffered multiple traumas due to discrimination, hate crimes, and police brutality, seeing Asians and American Asians publicly attacked causes Black communities to share the stress of their racialized trauma.

As racialized violence continues to plague the African American community, it is impossible to avoid being triggered by hate crimes committed against other groups. It is also common to experience a range of emotions in response.  According to the American Psychological Association, a 2019 study stated, “Similar to post traumatic stress disorder, racial trauma is unique in that it involves ongoing individual and collective injury due to exposure and re-exposure to race-based stress.” 

So how do we show up for Asian and Asian Americans?

African Americans have not always felt supported by Asian Americans which has led to feelings of resentment and isolation. Yet, witnessing violence against Asian Americans has triggered their own racial trauma. 

When stressed, it may be difficult to show up for another group when still seeking solace and support for your own community. It may also be difficult to find the tools to assist in the unification against all other racial violence when you have not attended to the impact of past, present and collective traumas.  But, as Dr. Martin Luther King said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”  So, as we do the work to heal our communities, we must work to support one another. 

We Must Heal Our Communities of Color

Communities of Color need mental health support. Without the tools to process racialized trauma, it is easy to fall into depression. It is also easy to forget that all communities of color are victims of white supremacy. Being aware of your mental, emotional, and relational needs will allow you to identify the types of support you need during these difficult times. 

In these times, you must address your mental, emotional, and relational needs. 

Mental needs: 

• A space for you to process your thoughts and to breathe  

• Name and acknowledge the impact of white supremacy

• Acknowledge that racism and racial trauma are real 

• Be aware of the effects of racial trauma on your body, mind and spirit 

Emotional needs:

• Allow yourself to be and for your emotions to flow

• Let yourself know that it’s okay to cry, be enrage, frustrated, numb, exhausted, etc., because of the white supremacy and its deadly impact on your life and the lives of communities of Color

• Move your emotions by speaking, writing, drawing, walking, dancing, cooking, exercising

• Validate your fears, anxieties, grief and painful experiences with racism and racial trauma 

Relational needs: 

• Support from the people and communities who see, love you and affirm your worth

• Connect with your families and friends 

• Connect with the resilience of those ancestors and elders who came back you to affirm your dignity and humanity, in the face of white terror and supremacy

• Connect with communities who are authentically working to dismantle white supremacy and its racialized trauma on us all

In addition to all these needs, seeking out professional health for your mental, emotional and relational well-being is always important. Particularly, finding a culturally affirming therapist to discuss and process racial trauma is essential. At Ibisanmi Relational Health, we’re available to help you journey the pain and the grief from racialized trauma. You can book your 15-minute consultation here. 

And be sure to follow us on IG at @ibisanmi for mental health check ins and inspirations.

A Year Later: COVID-19 and What You Still Need

By Christiana Ibilola Awosan, PhD., LMFT

It has been a year since the whole world faced COVID-19, the virus that led to frenzy, quarantines, questions, and confusion. By now, many of us either know someone who has either gotten sick from the virus or died from it. The pandemic continues to affect all of our lives in various ways, and some more than others. After a year and more than 500,000 lives lost, many are still getting infected and dying. And, we are all trying to deal with the aftermath beyond the heartache of losing loved ones. The ripple effects of the pandemic have led to financial insecurities and loss of physical connections with our communities. We are grieving multiple losses. 

According to the APA  “We [as a nation] are facing a national mental health crisis that could yield serious health and social consequences for years to come.”Sadly, “years to come'' is right now for many of us, and we need to address it.  We have all felt and continue to feel the mental, emotional, and relational turmoil caused by this pandemic. We are all struggling to cope or live with this new reality of COVID-19. The grief of countless losses caused by the virus weighs on our mental, emotional, and relational well-being which has sparked depression, anxiety, isolation, and great fear surrounding the uncertainty of the future. 

What the Pandemic Has Cost Us: 

The pandemic has cost many of us sleep and peace of mind.  You may be experiencing irregular eating patterns, feeling more tired or restless, and unable to focus or concentrate. You may also be experiencing loneliness and feeling increasingly impatient with yourself, loved ones or coworkers. All of these symptoms are signs of grief that you need to address to maintain not only your physical health, but also your mental, emotional, and relational well being. 

Being aware of your mental, emotional, and relational needs will allow you to identify the types of support you need during these difficult times. 

Mental needs: 

• Time and space to process your thoughts  

• Acknowledgement of the losses you have experienced and are currently experiencing

• Patience with yourself and others  

• A list of your hopes for the future

Emotional needs:

• Validation of your fears, anxieties, and hopes 

• Time and space for your emotions to flow

• A channel for your emotions: speaking, writing, drawing, walking, dancing, cooking,     exercising

Relational needs: 

Support from the people and communities who see and love you

• Support from the people and communities who see and love you

• Connection with your families and friends

• Humility and vulnerability to ask for what you need from your significant relationships

For all of these needs, seeking out professional help for your mental, emotional and relational well-being is important. You don’t need to do this on your own. At Ibisanmi Relational Health, we’re available to help you through your journey. We can help you work through the pain and the grief during these difficult times. Book your 15-minute consultation here. 

And be sure to follow us on IG at @ibisanmi.relational for mental health check ins and inspiration.