What happens when the holiday season that often comes with anticipation and excitement, also drags a bag of stress behind it? What do you do to manage stress and keep your balance at a time when so much is happening in your life and the world around you? This year make the goal to not only “get through the holidays” but also find ways to experience some of the joy the season promises.
For most people, the old ways of meeting a person, dating, and falling in love are no longer adding up to living happily ever after. More people are turning to dating apps like Tinder and Hinge to see if they can find their perfect match. According to a 2022 Pew Research, approximately 300 millions people use online dating platforms. Unfortunately, out of the 42% of the dating site users who aim for marriage, only 13% get engaged or married from the platform.
When we prioritize our mental health, we can enjoy a clearer mind, a better sense of self, improved productivity and an increased capacity to manage unexpected change. The best part: Making adjustments to your daily life doesn't have to be difficult. Mental health experts weigh in to share practical ways to make your mental health your priority…
Laughter is a way to express pleasure or display our sense of humor. We laugh when things are funny, we laugh when we're experiencing joy, and we laugh when we see our experiences reflected back in a new way. Laughter can help us release tension in a moment of anger or lift us out of the sinking feeling of sadness.
Mothers birth more than children. They birth a new possibility for a community. Mothers carry the legacy of history and culture and often dedicate more time to maintaining a household and rearing children than they do caring for themselves. Mothers are the first teachers of children. They show them how to see the world as it is or as it can be.
Communities of color face unique challenges and systemic barriers that affect our overall sense of calm and wellness. Witnessing countless examples of racism and violence against people of color with an unclear path on the best way to advocate for equality and justice for all can be exhausting. These feelings of constant frustration disrupts our nervous system and can lead to anxiety. Yet, the first month of the year gives us an opportunity to reset our minds, bodies, and spirits.
Surviving the impacts of ongoing racial trauma can feel like trying to swim with one hand holding a sink stone. You have to work twice as hard to keep yourself afloat, and it’s exhausting. Racial trauma sits beneath the skin of Black, Indigenous and People of Color, and it comes with an enormous weight that gets heavier each day.
May 25th will mark the one year anniversary of the televised killing of George Floyd. The recording of his murder was watched millions of times, and millions of those people watching were Black. Since the murder, the Black community has had to fight for other Black lives that were unjustly taken. And, with the upcoming anniversary, the reminder of the 8-minute video, keeps playing in the background. It was the video that sent shock waves beyond the borders of Minneapolis and the country. Floyd’s murder became significant in re-energizing the conversation about violence against Blacks at the hands of police. But, it also opened old wounds that had yet to heal.
Since 2013, the Black Lives Matter Movement has led a social campaign to remind those affected by racism that Black lives are not disposable. Having to remind another person that your life has value is emotionally taxing. Having to remind others that you deserve justice, is physically taxing. But, watching Black Lives rubbed out by bullets, knees, and choke holds is traumatic. And, when it happens over and over again, it impacts your mental health and outlook on the world you live in.
According to the Mental Health America National Organization website, you don’t have to be directly impacted by racism to be traumatized by it. Trauma can result from a direct experience or “vicariously-such as where you see video of other people facing racism.” It can also be transmitted intergenerationally. For generations, Blacks have been a victim to white supremacist ideals and of violence at the hands of those who criminalize Blackness. For generations, Black people have had to see their people hung, mutilated, dismembered or burned without hope for justice or reprisal. This causes an enormous amount of distress and trauma.
Black people are impacted by racism on several fronts and do not always have the tools to fight back against the impact of racialized traumas. It is hard to hold joy and awareness of racial trauma at the same time, but we can get to a place where we have access to many ways to process our current reality while we fight for a new one.
How We Get There:
First and foremost, Black people have to be there for one another to protect, educate, and heal. We’ll continue to create a community of acknowledgement, support and unapologetic affirmation of our humanities and dignities.
Black people need community resources and mental health supports that address racial trauma. Trauma changes the brain and impacts how well we show up for our communities and our families. Relationships with mental health professionals for stress awareness, management and healthy coping strategies is essential.
As individuals and as a collective, we need to know, identify and name the symptoms of racial trauma and engage in active ways to process this trauma. Click these links to obtain Ibisanmi Relational Health’s booklets on “What Is Trauma?” and “Processing Racial Trauma”.
Black people must work to find the balance between fighting for justice for Black people and finding joy within Black identity and culture. One of the many lessons we can take away from the murder of George Floyd and many others is that Blackness needs to be free from criminalization. Blackness needs to be protected, but it also needs to be celebrated.
Additionally, seeking out professional health for your mental, emotional and relational well-being is always important. Particularly, finding a culturally affirming therapist to discuss and process racial trauma is essential. At Ibisanmi Relational Health, we’re available to help you journey the pain and grief from racial trauma as well as identifying and embracing the joy of your Blackness. You can book your 15-minute consultation here.
And be sure to follow us on IG at @ibisanmi.relational for mental health check ins and inspirations.
By Yolanda Jackson
While the whole world manages health concerns related to the pandemic, African Americans and Asian Americans have the extra burden of trauma due to racialized violence. After the March 19th shooting in an Atlanta spa and six Asian women dead, people were again reminded of the evil that was always present. How do we deal in society that continues to harm People of Color? How do we manage in a society that requires a mass shooting or knee on a neck to see the horror and effects of white supremacy?
Asian Americans have been under attack since the pandemic. According to NBC news, there were 3,800 racial incidents reported by Asian Americans over the past year. Over 500 during the first three months of 2021. Now, Black Lives Matter and other Black organizations are publicly standing in solidarity with Asians and Asian Americans against Asian Hate crimes. Black people are once again, standing in solidarity even when our own mental health is at risk.
African Americans Live with Racialized Trauma
Because African Americans have suffered multiple traumas due to discrimination, hate crimes, and police brutality, seeing Asians and American Asians publicly attacked causes Black communities to share the stress of their racialized trauma.
As racialized violence continues to plague the African American community, it is impossible to avoid being triggered by hate crimes committed against other groups. It is also common to experience a range of emotions in response. According to the American Psychological Association, a 2019 study stated, “Similar to post traumatic stress disorder, racial trauma is unique in that it involves ongoing individual and collective injury due to exposure and re-exposure to race-based stress.”
So how do we show up for Asian and Asian Americans?
African Americans have not always felt supported by Asian Americans which has led to feelings of resentment and isolation. Yet, witnessing violence against Asian Americans has triggered their own racial trauma.
When stressed, it may be difficult to show up for another group when still seeking solace and support for your own community. It may also be difficult to find the tools to assist in the unification against all other racial violence when you have not attended to the impact of past, present and collective traumas. But, as Dr. Martin Luther King said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” So, as we do the work to heal our communities, we must work to support one another.
We Must Heal Our Communities of Color
Communities of Color need mental health support. Without the tools to process racialized trauma, it is easy to fall into depression. It is also easy to forget that all communities of color are victims of white supremacy. Being aware of your mental, emotional, and relational needs will allow you to identify the types of support you need during these difficult times.
In these times, you must address your mental, emotional, and relational needs.
Mental needs:
A space for you to process your thoughts and to breathe
Name and acknowledge the impact of white supremacy
Acknowledge that racism and racial trauma are real
Be aware of the effects of racial trauma on your body, mind and spirit
Emotional needs:
Allow yourself to be and for your emotions to flow
Let yourself know that it’s okay to cry, be enrage, frustrated, numb, exhausted, etc., because of the white supremacy and its deadly impact on your life and the lives of communities of Color
Move your emotions by speaking, writing, drawing, walking, dancing, cooking, exercising
Validate your fears, anxieties, grief and painful experiences with racism and racial trauma
Relational needs:
Support from the people and communities who see, love you and affirm your worth
Connect with your families and friends
Connect with the resilience of those ancestors and elders who came back you to affirm your dignity and humanity, in the face of white terror and supremacy
Connect with communities who are authentically working to dismantle white supremacy and its racialized trauma on us all
In addition to all these needs, seeking out professional health for your mental, emotional and relational well-being is always important. Particularly, finding a culturally affirming therapist to discuss and process racial trauma is essential. At Ibisanmi Relational Health, we’re available to help you journey the pain and the grief from racialized trauma. You can book your 15-minute consultation here.
And be sure to follow us on IG at @ibisanmi for mental health check ins and inspirations.
By Christiana Ibilola Awosan, PhD LMFT
As I sit in front of my computer to write Ibisanmi Relational Health’s first blog in the month that we celebrate Black History and Black Love, I can’t help but think about the trials and tribulations our ancestors and elders endured in a world that saw them less than human and unworthy of love and strong familial relationships. Yet, even in the worst of times, relationships were formed, and they aided in the protection and survival of our people. Black love endured, despite the obstacles. It endured, even when it was not considered legitimate, real, strong or even possible.
A few years ago when I was working on my dissertation on Black romantic relationships processes and experiences, I spent many nights in tears, sadness, rage and amazement of my ancestors. As I poured through the narratives of enslaved Black men and women, I understood the enormous fears and realities of separation that led to the denial of many to form loving romantic and familiar relationships. The cruelty of whiteness through the system of slavery worked to strip their humanity and deprive them of the dignity of human connection with those they loved.
The impacts of such brutality continue to ripple consciously and unconsciously in the ways that we build and nurture our love with each other within Black communities. As if building and sustaining human connection is not difficult enough, the generational and present-day trauma of racism adds an additional burden to protecting and sustaining our love for one another.
Acknowledging our history and continuing the struggle to keep Black Love alive is work that needs to be done daily, not just in the month of February. Black Love is resilience! Struggling to cultivate and maintain Black Love, in a world that viewed and continues to treat this love of ours as less than, not deep enough, or wide enough, takes courage and intentional dedication.
Every day we are reminded that we need to protect, cheer and nurture this Black Love. This month we’re remembering and celebrating our ancestors' contributions to a country that undermined their humanity. Let us, their progeny, live out Black history every day as we focus on our relationships with each other. We need to celebrate our joys, hopes, laughter and dreams. We need to affirm that the struggles of our ancestors to cultivate and maintain their love wasn’t in vain—because we are still here!
Let us continue to speak the truth and live out the reality that their lives, their love, our lives, and our love matter. Black History. Black Love. Every Hour. All Day. All Year!
What happens when the holiday season that often comes with anticipation and excitement, also drags a bag of stress behind it? What do you do to manage stress and keep your balance at a time when so much is happening in your life and the world around you? This year make the goal to not only “get through the holidays” but also find ways to experience some of the joy the season promises.
For most people, the old ways of meeting a person, dating, and falling in love are no longer adding up to living happily ever after. More people are turning to dating apps like Tinder and Hinge to see if they can find their perfect match. According to a 2022 Pew Research, approximately 300 millions people use online dating platforms. Unfortunately, out of the 42% of the dating site users who aim for marriage, only 13% get engaged or married from the platform.
Laughter is a way to express pleasure or display our sense of humor. We laugh when things are funny, we laugh when we're experiencing joy, and we laugh when we see our experiences reflected back in a new way. Laughter can help us release tension in a moment of anger or lift us out of the sinking feeling of sadness.
Mothers birth more than children. They birth a new possibility for a community. Mothers carry the legacy of history and culture and often dedicate more time to maintaining a household and rearing children than they do caring for themselves. Mothers are the first teachers of children. They show them how to see the world as it is or as it can be.
Surviving the impacts of ongoing racial trauma can feel like trying to swim with one hand holding a sink stone. You have to work twice as hard to keep yourself afloat, and it’s exhausting. Racial trauma sits beneath the skin of Black, Indigenous and People of Color, and it comes with an enormous weight that gets heavier each day.
When we prioritize our mental health, we can enjoy a clearer mind, a better sense of self, improved productivity and an increased capacity to manage unexpected change. The best part: Making adjustments to your daily life doesn't have to be difficult. Mental health experts weigh in to share practical ways to make your mental health your priority…